OOTD: March 22, 2012

I was back in the design offices on this day, which means back in the city, so something that works with ballet flats. I had some pants hemmed to wear with flats but they were a little too short and I feel goofy in them.

This is a dress I from Anthropolgie that I splurged on years ago with some Christmas money. It is very floaty and fit the warm weather very nicely. I paired it with a purple shrug thingy because it matches my shoes better!

Introduction: or, how to be a female blogger

I'm fascinated by the subculture of female bloggers.  And when I sat down and created this blog, I had to carefully cull my female blogger persona.  And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that -- hey! someone should write a guide to how to introduce yourself as a female blogger.

Step 1
Start with a snappy little intro that is full of cliche phrases that no one uses in the real world.  Make sure you include poetic sentence phrasing, talk in the third person, write in fragments, and use lots of periods.  It's extra helpful if you pick things about you that are really random, make you look well-rounded, but really don't say much about you as a person -- remember, you only get one shot at a first impression.

Almost 30-something consultant navigating life and love with two Europeans (a Polish boyfriend and a German dog) in the big city.  Forever a New England girl and an unabashed suburbanite at heart.  Loves Transformers.  Obsessed with Petyon Manning.  Hates mayonnaise on burgers.  Can watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy in one sitting.

+5 for mentioning the South.
+10 for alluding to being better than everyone else because of your location, upbringing, or faith.
+15 for mentioning Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ
+50 for the trifecta

Step 2
Once you've nailed your introduction, you next have to figure out something that you're good (or "good") at. This might be easy for you (I have major issues and think I'm "just ok" at everything), but if you want to be a really successful female blogger, you'll have to think of something that you're not just good at, but something you can be insufferable about -- whether you're good at it or not.  Make sure it's something you're comfortable mentioning a LOT, preferably almost every post.  Here's some examples:

• Running
• Baking cupcakes
• Eating carbs
• Being a pretentious ass
• Knowing a dead language

+10 if it's not an actual skill

+15 if it's "being pregnant" or "giving birth"

+20 if it's "Watching shit TV"

+50 if your dead language is Middle English and you like to recite Chaucer

Step 3
After you have picked your "something good", you next have to pick an accomplishment (related or not) that you are going to lord over everyone, all the time.  It should be something that you can find a way to drop into any conversation, no matter how much of a stretch.

• Appeared on the game show Jeopardy! (adult version)
• Scored an 800 on my verbal SAT
• Ran the Boston Marathon
• Lost 50 pounds
• Read a book
• Went undefeated in my final year of competitive policy debate

+10 if it's completely meaningless past the age of 21

+25 if it's "Gave birth"
+100 if it's "Threw flour on Kim Kardashian"

Step 4

Once you've figured out what you're going to enrage entertain people with, next you have to figure out the things you're going to complain about.  This will give other females something that they can relate to and will hopefully bring them back to see what new and witty thoughts you have to offer on the mundane.  It shouldn't be anything too grand or controversial -- make it as inconsequential as possible so that you can really make a big deal about nothing.  Such as:

• People who chew with their mouths open
• People who say they have OCD when they don't
• Toms shoes
• Your job that really isn't so bad
• "Anonymous" people in your life that no one reading your blog actually knows

+10 if it's "Your job, which is being a stay at home mom"

+50 if it's another blogger

+80 if it's "National Geographic's programming sucks"

Step 5

The penultimate step to becoming a female blogger is one of the most critical.  No matter how much you entertain or annoy, you must have an ace up your sleeve in the form of sympathy.  Think long and hard about this one, because it's something you'll have to mention fairly often to your readers so that they constantly feel sorry for you -- this in turn gives you the freedom to be as ridiculous as you want.  And as a female blogger, would you want to be anything less than ridiculous?

+50 if it's fairly rare

+500 if it's something that's generally considered taboo by mainstream society

+1,000 if it's complete bullshit and you just made it up for points

Step 6

Lastly, you must have a DSLR (whether you can actually use it is irrelevant).  Point-and-shoots need not apply.

OOTD: March 21, 2012

This is my last travel outfit from last week (aka almost caught up (aka time to fall behind again)). Again, suit separates are the best to travel with. These are the same pants from Monday, but I just ditched the jacket once I got to the office, and likely no one noticed. I've had this top for awhile but it is very sheer and a white cami didn't look right underneath, thus began the great lavender cami hunt. I ordered one from The Limited and when it showed up, it was more of a cornflower blue, but I finally found this one from Express.

OOTD: March 20, 2012

I saw this top at Express awhile back and loved the way it was styled in store, and I (stupidly) didn't pick it up while they had a huge sale (plus I had coupons!). I love the bright pink and thought it would go well with the navy pencil skirt, which was an added bonus because it was a matching separate to the suit I wore on Monday.

I also really like these shoes. They are a lower heel than I normally wear (usually wear 4" heels), and I love the little buckle detail and contrasting trim. This is one of my favorite outfits in a long time and I was so excited to wear it!

OOTD: March 19, 2012

Monday was a travel day, which means I put a little extra thought into my outfits, keeping in mind that I'll be sitting around an airport and then on a plane. I like to travel with suits because it cuts back on the amount of clothes I have to bring, but I always think I look odd in a suit jacket (probably because I don't wear them all the time).

This is a navy suit from The Limited. I wear the Lexie pants and I really like the way they fit. The top is hard to see but is a lace tank in pink.

OOTD: March 18, 2012

We went to brunch at my favorite restaurant, Ditch Plains, on Sunday. Our friend came up to meet us and it was a really nice day, so I decided to wear something a little nicer than jeans and a hoodie. This dress is from Express, and I really like the print. It is pretty thin and clingy so I would not wear it without leggings or tights, but that's just me.

OOTD: March 15, 2012

Three days in a row in the office! Except this day I was in the design-heavy office so the dress code is a little more lax, but I feel more pressure to be stylish. I don't have many opportunities to wear this tee as I always worry about ruining the zebra and it is too different to wear all the time, do I was glad I was able to work it into this outfit!

OOTD: March 14, 2012

I got this J.Crew polka dot blouse awhile ago but always struggled with how to wear it, given that black pants are my work staple and the age-old fashion rules say no navy blue with black. But I figured who cares and I just wore it with my black pants anyway. :)

OOTD: March 13, 2012

Travelling for work again means that I have to start putting together professional(ish) looking outfits again. My favorite PINK sweatpants and sweatshirts aren't going to cut it anymore, and I'm not really supposed to wear jeans on the road.

So here was Tuesday's outfit! I ordered the top and cardigan from The Limited after I saw it styled on their site. I really like the green and blue together and figured it was a nice change of pace from black.

Dinner: chicken, bacon, and ranch tacos

We made tacos for dinner again the other night (we have an enormous bag of fresh corn tortillas to use up), but used chicken instead of steak. I also cooked up some bacon and put a little ranch dressing on my tacos as well. I had this combination at Chili's once - it is pretty good!

Still topped them off with the "pickled" onions, cheddar cheese, and cilantro. Yum!

OOTD: 2 March 2012

Wore this outfit to the office today. The forecast called for rain later in the day so I stuck to flats that could get wet, and I almost always try to wear jeans on Fridays. These are the J.Crew high heel flares (that I had hemmed) and they are a great Friday or slightly more dressy jean, in my opinion. The red sweater is a little short to wear with a high waisted jean like these (at least for me), so I wore a long tank underneath. These flats are some of my favorites - sparkly gold! They are a great basic that I can wear with pretty much anything.